Tinaguan’s Weblog

i tried to wait

but i’m already tired.

i tried to make it work

but i failed.

i tried to love again

but i don’t know

where to start.

i’m afraid now

to be hurt

once more.

eversince i’ve known you

i’ve been very thankful

coz you came to my life

to be my Saviour, my friend, and my Lord

i’ve been very thankful

for all the things you’ve done

for all the words you’ve said

for all the love you’ve spent

and for all the sacrifices you’ve made.

now, you are more than enough for me.

i want to know you more and more

and be useful for your glory

coz i know you’ll be happy

if you see me working in your ministry.

Cho.

i’m a sinful man in a sinful world

but you picked me up to be your own

you made me whole, and you washed me

from the blood of Jesus Christ.

here i am standing still

and waiting for the day you’ll come

so, i will sing you

a brand new song

to make you smile.

i must not confess anything.
i must not tell anyone of our escapades. you are not mine now. but still, my heart belongs to you.

well..life must go on..but i know that God would never leaves me empty.

she owned you

but you love me.

i love you

but i couldn’t have you.

she loved you

but your heart belongs to me.

you love me

but your presence

is with her.

very confusing,

yet very true.

is this really love?

is this really my fate,

yours,

and hers?

Loving someone seems so mysterious, coz when somebody ask you, “Why do you love him?” we just say, “because it’s how i feel and he’s the one who makes my heart beats faster”.
But how sure are you to say that you really love that person? Do we really need to base our feelings with what our heart says?
Do we have an assurance with our heart?
Heart could be so deceiving and playful in terms of loving, specially when we say “we are in love”. But we couldn’t blame our hearts. After all, the final decision is still in our hands.
Why we have to fall in love?
Why we need to love? After all, we get hurt.
Isn’t it a work of mystery that even love in itself couldn’t answer?

Personally, I’m wondering why I have to love and why I need to love.
Loving is hurting. Whether we hurt other people or we ourselves get hurt.

Loving is like your accepting the worst consequences of life.

Yet, to love is inevitable.
That’s why we say we are in love though we don’t find any reasons why and how it happens. We just go with the  flow and follow what our hearts commanded us to do. We let the certain feelings to grow.

For me, it’s not necessary to love someone. We need it in order to live life.
But, be careful to whom you give your heart. Perhaps, that person is never deserving of that love or maybe someone else need that.

For all the negative things we say to ourselves, God has a positive answer to it…

You say: It’s impossible,

God says: “All things are possible” (Luke 16:27)

You say:   “I’m too tired.”

God says: ” I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28)

You say: ” Nobody really loves me.”

God says: ” I love you” (John 3:16)

You say: ” I can’t do it.”

God says: ” I can do all things” (Philippians 4:13)

You say: ” I feel all alone.”

God says: ” I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5)

You says: ” I’m afraid.”

God says: ” I have not given you the spirit of fear” (2 Timothy 1:7)

So, we must always armed ourself with faith…

Hope you learn something and God speaks to you…

maybe many people rejects you? or either making you feel so down?

..there’s no remedy for that except keeping and having God in you life…

do you think you are alone right now?

…no! coz God is always there waiting you to call to Him..

do you think life is so easy??

..no! coz there’s always trials and circumstances to battle for..

..remember—–HE’s just there when you needed Him most…

i was irritated with a guy at ny back…he’s so pakialamero..

i hate that kind of person…so pathetic..as if he could help me with my works..

i cry for a while to see how tears fall down to my cheeks..

i cry for a while to see the reaction of people around me…

i cry for a while to see the difference between tears amd smile..

i cry for a while to feel if i’m in paiin..

i cry because i love to cry for a while…

I’m so tired really..all these papers , projects, exams and all.. but I’m starting to like it though somehow I feel like giving up..still I don’t want to lose hope..never I will lose hope..I want to write, that’s one of my dreams in life..I want to make something that in the eyes of many, I can’t do. I want to prove myself that somehow I have a worth..

I don’t want to please anybody just to gain their praises? I don’t go to school and study just to have a profession? Neither I go to school to make my parents proud of me?? NO..a big NO, NO..

I study because I want it..It’s normal right?

I desire someday..I can make a book by myself that in the end, I can just have a copy of it..

but I’m so tired at this very moment.. and I want to eat..eat and eat..